the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
