i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
