pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
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I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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