Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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