How'd it feel making her break her religion?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
