would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
