i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
