i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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