who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
