he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
