It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
