Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
