I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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