He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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