You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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