if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize