It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
