Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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