Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
