I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
