yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
