im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
