Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
