she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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