I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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