Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Success! We fucked roommates!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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