i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize