fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
