Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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