addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
