question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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