Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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