$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
