My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
