She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
