He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize