My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
