I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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