Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
