the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
