Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just gargled with NyQuil
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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