her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
