White coat. Heels.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
