I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
