you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
