I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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