you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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