when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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