I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize