god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
