Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
