i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
