I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
