ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
