id be glad to
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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