Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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