I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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