gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
