Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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