we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
